Antonia – My Journey to Living in the Present

For the first time in my life I wasn’t self-conscious. I wasn’t concerned about the future. I was happily enjoying the present as it is.

– Antonia
Antonia – enjoying the Cool Breeze flowing – Being in the Present

I was a seeker from a very young age. I believed there was something more to this life than just conforming to social norms and surviving. I always admired people who accepted life like it is, and thought there was something wrong with me for wanting to experience something more. I felt like an outcast among people for whom all they did made perfect sense, because I was so often wondering why? Why do I have to do all of these things in life? I felt huge emptiness and lack of purpose whatever I chose to do in life.

I always thought I would be fulfilled by this next thing I was doing in life, but it never really happened. I was waiting for something to take me out of this reality I was stuck in. And it wasn’t even a bad reality.

I was healthy and safe, had loving relationships and friends. Yet I was getting more and more depressed. This unfulfillment led me to vices, and numbing out this feeling of emptiness.

Meanwhile I was reading a lot on spirituality, tried some techniques, and these were all pieces to a puzzle that was preparing me for the most wonderful and unbelievable thing.

Oddly, in all of my seeking life, I have never tried meditation. In one especially trying period in my life, I was in my mid-twenties and still trying to find myself career wise, one of my friends took me for a free meditation course. I didn’t expect much. A dentist lady held it in her waiting room. There were very few people and I found it quite nice. Nothing more than that. We watched videos of Shri Mataji, and I knew about many teachers at that time, but Shri Mataji had this motherly energy that teachers usually lack, even female ones. I thought at one point, ‘This lady is enlightened!‘. But I didn’t get very far in my meditations for one or two months that I kept on attending the program.

It was just suddenly, when I was faced with difficult situation in my life, that all the heaviness completely lifted, and I found myself feeling complete happiness and the task I was dreading became a fun filled journey. I felt an amazing detachment from everything I did. For the first time in my life I wasn’t self-conscious. I wasn’t concerned about the future. I was happily enjoying the present as it is.

Photo with Crawford lake – captured right after a collective meditation “there” during a Halton . Niagara / Simcoe sahaja yoga meditation seminar

I didn’t know at that time what caused this state of being, because I was experimenting with different techniques. However, the shine soon wore off. I was again in my ordinary life, anxiety creeped back in, but I had this beautiful memory and the proof of an amazing state that can be achieved. My life started changing. I didn’t know at that point that my inner energy had awakened and started clearing out my subtle body, purging everything that was harming me, from relationships to the bad habits (and addictions) I had.

Photo from Halton creek

I continued to meditate, and the hard thing for me was that for a year or two there weren’t any Sahaja Yoga programs held in my city.

While meditating on my own I started feeling all the sensations Shri Mataji was talking about in her videos: Cool breeze, sensations on my fingers and different parts of my body.

I started to awaken spiritually and all the illusions started falling off.

I joined Sahaja Yoga classes again in 2015 and realized the enormous power it held.

Sahaja yoga is beautiful because it is an actual experience. It is so very practical and so much different than anything I have ever seen and tried. It is genuine. It is the key to your own self.

Photo with the beautiful Croatian Nature – from Paula (Burlington sahaja yogini)

My self-realization is still unfolding and there are beautiful surprises at each step of this journey. With confidence I can say I started living only after I received my self-realization. It’s more than I could ever hope for.

I thank Shri Mataji every day for having found me and for giving the highest, most precious gift to humanity.

Antonia – Croatia (yogini sister that loves our Collective and our Blog) 🙂

Enjoy 2 Presents: Enlightened Music & Poetry & Painting (drop a comment 🙂 )

(click #1) About Sorrow and Joy in Kahlil Gibran’s Prophet & Flower’s Song with Sahaj Definitions


(#2 Music Video) “Ganymed” poem/lyrics: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe; Vibrations and Voice: Cleopatra David

*Cleopatra David – soprano / Music PhD, Musicology Field  Romanian sahaja yogini*

“Ganymed” by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (EN translation)

How, in the morning brightness,
You all around shine at me,
Springtime, Beloved!
With thousandfold love-bliss
The holy feeling
Of your eternal warmth
Presses itself upon my heart,
Unending beauty!

Could I but embrace you
In this arm!

Ah, upon your breast
I lie, languish,
And your blossoms, your grass
press upon my heart.
You cool the burning
Thirst of my bosom,
Lovely morning-wind!
There calls the nightingale
Lovingly for me from the misty valley.
I come, I come!
Whither, ah whither?

Up! Up it surges.
The clouds are leaning
Downwards, the clouds
Bow down to yearning love.
To me! To me!
In your lap, clouds,
Embracing, embraced!
Upwards to thy bosom,
All-loving Father!

Burlington – Sahaja Yoga meditation weekly class

This Post Has 11 Comments

  1. Paula

    To my dear Croatian friends,

    For several years each summer, I tried to join the classes in Rijeka. There were obstacles trying to prevent me from going, and my time was also limited to my short layovers as a flight attendant there and vacations.

    Suddenly with determination and full systems ahead, I attended the Rijeka group with my mother Carmela (from Selce) among a full classroom of yogis and seekers of truth.

    From the moment I met you all in Croatia, there was a brother-sisterhood bond. You are a person of such high calibre. Your testimonial has beautiful energy of vibrations I can feel. It is very easy to be with you all, meditating on different beaches, the class, Selce, spending quality time together. You are all so genuine.

    Thank you Antonia for being so dynamic, fearless and beautiful to the very depth of your being. I really am so fond of you all.

    It is always joyful to reunite with you all. My mother Carmela originally from Selce has an open door policy when it comes to this special family we enjoy.

    We enjoy the company of enlightened souls to and from Pula, Rijeka, Selce and Zagreb, Italy and the whole world. Those wanting to discover the health benefits of meditation without prior knowledge can receive their self realization and learn about their chakra system and how to optimize, evolve and assume these super powers waiting for us to ignite with a single spark.

    Until we meet again, I am delighted to join the 2 online meditations that are offered in your region. Kathleen and Isabelle alsolook forward to meeting with you all again and achieving those spiritual heights together.

    1. antonia

      Dear Paulica, we are all so blessed to have you and Carmela here with us. You give us so much joy and you both are true Lakshmis. We shared such incredible moments together, so many beautiful memories in these few years, not to mention incredilble vibrations in your Selce house. Thank you for your kind words, dear sister, we can’t wait for you both to come back this year! Lots & lots of love

  2. Anjali

    Dear Antonia, reading your testimony made me feel like I got to know another beautiful sister of Croatia. Thank you for sharing your journey. When I read testimonials such as yours I realize there are so many like us and I hope they will find their truth through Sahaja Yoga and stick with it even through trying times. those times are temporary but they keep you away from something that is eternal and beautiful within you. Feeling the oneness with you sister Antonia. 🙂

  3. Marta

    Antonia, we’ve been there for each other in out spiritual journey and I remember all the stages that had thought us how to evolve into a more integral personalities… The gravity of our spirit brought us to our purpose and we are no longer on the margin of the evolutionary process… what a lovely journey it is… to feel so much complexity in a simple instant of time… to feel eternity and oneness with no special effort… all the dreams are dreamt and all the reality unfolds. Thank you for your story!!!

    1. Antonia

      Thank you, my dear sister. We’ve been through SO MUCH together, and we came so far in this lifetime! It was all worth it <3

  4. Gratiela

    Beautiful Journey Antonia,I am happy to meet you on our website.You were a true sicker,i felt goose bumps when i read your testimonial.I am very close to Mama Carmela and Paula here in Canada and one day I will meet you in person.Love you Croatian sister.

  5. Kruti

    I loved this article with some breath taking photos of nature, calming music, and a beautiful poem on Mother nature. All so relaxing.
    While reading this beautiful testimony of Antonia, it brought back some memories of my own journey. It’s incredible how much we share with each other despite of our differences. Paula and mamma Carmela shares some beautiful stories of the Croatian collective, and we listen to it like small children. Thank you for this lovely post.

  6. Anjali

    About the Opera video – I am blown away by cool breeze on the “Ganymed” Poem (on Mother earth and Ether) and the Sahaja Yogini who sang it with such grace and humility! Please if you haven’t seen it – enjoy one of the best 4 min meditation to set you up for the day/night!

    Also, the pictures on this article are so alive – I am living through them- I have viewed, felt and admired them at least 5 times since the morning! You can notice shape of half a heart on the space picture with the satellite. Also the stillness of Crawford lake is so calming, the creek, the stream, the yogis, the most heavenly pink flowers and such a nice memory from our halton class where I started my journey. So enriching to brighten up anyone s bad day and fill it with fragrance. Thank you for this labor of LOVE!

  7. Rajinee

    Dear Antonia, your testimony is so beautiful and filled with truth. Thank you for sharing.

  8. Antonia

    Dear sisters from all over the world, I appreciate your kind words. One of the most valuable Shri Mataji’s gifts is a family of beautiful seeker souls. How Mother connected us to our Canadian sisters is another miracle story, worthy of a new blog post. Thank you, my dear sister Marta, for sharing this journey with me since our teenage years. It was a long way there, but we made it!!

  9. Rebecca

    Dear Antonia: Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. I love happy endings! It really makes me feel how small this world is, and how we can relate to each other in such a heartfelt way through Sahaja Yoga. I am on my own journey with the Burlington Sahaja Yoga family and, through your testimony, I feel so happy to know that we are so globally connected. I’m sending lots of love to our neighbours in Croatia. I love being part of this global family.

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