Why do we shout in Anger ?

This is an anonymous piece of wisdom in the form of a moral story about anger. I thank my dear yogi brother from India, Rabi for sharing it with me on a ‘Sahaj Guru Day’, few years back. Ever since I wanted to share it with you all. Let’s Enjoy, Listen and Follow this Wise Advice from a Guru that seems to be a Realized  and motherly one, thus, a ‘sahaj one’ 🙂

“Why do we shout in ANGER“? What about LOVE?!

A Guru asked his followers, “Why do we shout in anger?

Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?”

 His followers thought for a while and one of them said…..

“Because we lose our calm, we shout for that”.

“But, why do you shout when the other person is just next to you?”

asked the guru. “Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice?

Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?”

Followers gave some other answers but none satisfied the guru.

Finally he explained…..

“When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot.

To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. 
The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each

other through that great distance.”

Then the guru asked…..

“What happens when two people fall in love?

They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why?

Because their hearts are very close. 

The distance between them is very small“.

The guru continued…..

“When they love each other even more, what happens?

They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. 

Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all.

That is how close two people are when they love each other”.

‘MORAL’ said the guru…..

“When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words

that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the

distance is so great that you will not find the path to return!”

 Did you know ?! Tips for “Anger Management” from sahaja yoga

The source of anger is your (hot) liver and also your upbringing. These two things (may) give you horrible anger. Unless and until you witness yourself, your Realization has no meaning. You should separate your Self from yourself and see for yourself what is really wrong with you. Now, supposing somebody is a very hot-tempered person, instead of taking pride in it or using that temper to control others, he should try to control himself. How? Anybody who wants to be a saint should know that anger, should have no place”.

Another very bad enemy we have is our angerThe anger gives birth to anger. So all this aggressiveness comes from anger. If somebody has to be angry, he should be angry with himself.”

If you have anger inside you, means you have got lots of ego. I have seen that the people who are angry are very explosive. And they take pride in it saying that: Yes, I’m very angry man.”

Best is to get rid of anger: you can pull your hair, you can bite yourself, you can use your pillow to hit yourself! [laughs] That may be the best way to take out your anger. 🙂 ”  

The anger is the worst of all the enemies; all other negativities emanate from anger. Anger brings to us attachment and then the person repents over what he has said: But in the fit of anger he goes out of self-control and blurts-out all the dirt that was hidden in his heart since long. That comes out of his mouth. We have to be beware of this anger. Why do we get angry, we have to think over it.”

“There are people who are angry with a particular person. There are others who are angry with some society. So people get angry for different causes. But we should think as to why we get angry. ” (Shri Mataji’s talk on Spirit “MahaShivaratri Puja” – India, February 14, 1999)

“We should keep our heart clean. The greatest malady of the heart is anger. When anger enters a person then all purity gets destroyed. Because the other name of Purity is Love which is completely clean and straight forward, that love that flows eternally and wants nothing (Nirvajya in Sanskrit). Its satisfaction is in the fact that it keeps flowing and when it cannot flow it becomes disturbed. Purity means that you fill your heart with love and not anger.”

Anger is our enemy and also the enemy of the world. All the wars of this world, the failures have been due to this collective anger. There can be many excuses for anger. Even the terrible things like war comes from anger. If there is love in the heart, then anger cannot arise. And if one has to make a show of anger then even that is for love.(Shri Mataji’s Talk on her birthday – March 30, 1990 – Delhi, India)

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This Post Has 11 Comments

  1. Smrite

    very nice

  2. Elsie Kuly

    Why do we shout when we’re angry – It’s put so beautifully by the guru – because of the distance between our hearts. If the distance becomes so great we will not find the path to come together. How many friendships have come apart when two angry people can’t calm down and discuss the matter. They’ve let distance between their hearts become too great.

  3. Hervé Renault

    Very nice, great story and a lesson still to be integrated

  4. Shivangi

    Beautiful Guru teachings…. Very Nice

  5. Arie


    Let me flow backwards for a moment…
    We start with fear…
    We probably do not understand why…
    We find ourselves angry…
    For that is how fear ultimately manifests itself…
    We find ourselves “hating”…
    Hating people…
    Hating things, ie weather…
    Using the word hate without realizing that you do!
    Then simply hating ourselves!!!

    Just take responsibility for that which you want to experience…
    If you want to experience anger… do not direct anger at others…
    Direct it to yourself…
    That doesn’t feel very good!
    So why are you choosing to do that?
    You do realize that you choose everything that you experience!
    Yes… really
    Choose to be happy instead

    1. Arie

      Introspection on “anger!

      You mean to say I make myself angry!
      Of course…
      No one can make you angry!
      It just seems that way…
      You think that by shouting
      That someone is listening?
      No one is listening…
      The question is
      Are you listening to yourself!

      The real SELF
      The real SELF is saying…
      Why are you doing this to yourself?
      And if you are not listening to the real SELF…
      The real SELF…
      Well, can only speak to you by allowing you to experience… SUFFERING
      When you are “shouting” at others…
      DO you hear yourself communicating
      … with Yourself.

      Eventually there will be the
      Of peacefulness

      Then JOY.

  6. Debbie

    What a perfect photo – full of innocence, beauty and joy.

    Anger destroys everything that is beautiful. We need to really step back and take a good look at ourselves and realize how much better it is to love and be in love rather than creating bitterness and more negativity in our world.

    We want togetherness not distance – what we need is LOVE!

    Thanks for this beautiful message.

  7. paula

    One article leads to the next…it is such a deep and profound article about…anger management…and the solutions…rooted in love and understanding and self awareness…and compassion.

  8. Ajay Nargas

    So beautifully explained effect of love on reducing anger, our greatest enemy -source of extreme negativity in us.

  9. Anjali

    Feeling calm after reading this article. Just the talk of pure love melts the heart and a melted heart cools down the liver – anger goes away…
    one cannot be angry at an innocent child because it’s so easy to love it and even if you do get angry, you end up feeling foolish and might even end up laughing at yourself when the child doesn’t react to the anger but only sees you with pure love. You realize the love you have for the child and embrace the child. Similarly, we are not the anger…sometimes it is important to remember and identify with the pure spirit within, the pure child who is full of pure love vs identifying with the anger.
    Thank you for this beautiful article. The picture of doves is my all time favorite – I see my twin girls in them. When I was pregnant with the twinnies I saw a pair of these birds visit me frequently in the back yard!

  10. NITI

    Really enjoyed reading this articles ,conversation between the Guru and deciple is really heart touching,yes our worst enemy is anger as Shri Krishna describe it is the biggest enemy of our soul.While I was enjoying reading this article I remember one doha said by shri Rahim, Rahiman Dhaga prem ka mat todo chatkai,tute se phir na Jude,jude to gaanth pad jai..Rahim says, don’t allow the delicate thread of love between people to snap. If it breaks once, it cannot be mended, even if you mend it there will be a knot in it, which means there will always be some awkwardness in the relationship.Thanks once again dear Ioana.

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