I went to one yoga place which was based on uncontrolled exercises, jumping up and down, kicking, flailing my arms around and some chanting. The exercises felt unsafe and pointless and sporadic. In the end I felt humiliated by the teacher who rolled his eyes into his head and tried to read my mind. He tried to «reveal» something about me and embarrassed me in front of my friends. I burst into tears, and left knowing I would never be back there.
A second place I went, they were shooting a video and seemed indifferent. So I took some literature, and never returned. Another place, someone massaged my organs which was uncomfortable, and a bit violating. He told me I was obliged to buy the “white” karate outfit for «atmosphere.» I left frustrated and never came back. I had been to yoga exercise classes, but this time, I was looking for transformation for my mind. It was never about the money, I was willing to pay, I really just wanted to feel peace.
Another connection offered to do my tarot cards, meditation and a host of other psychic activities that just made me uneasy. I was not comfortable contacting dead spirits! And the last few times I had my fortune told, I was so upset. The last time I allowed that to happen, I was told I would leave my husband which planted a seed, like a possession and influenced partially the first year of my marriage. Once I expelled the power of that insidious thought, my attitude towards my relationship improved and healed. I was told by friends not to let others tell my fortune, that it could steal my energy, and it did. So I ended my search through psychics. How can anyone know better than myself what is best for me?
At the end of 2007, I found information about free Sahaja yoga classes in a community program magazine. It was free to the public so I had nothing to lose and felt very welcomed. Another classmate, told me I wouldn’t need my yoga mat, and gently asked me to take my shoes off and sit in any chair. I noticed that even though a few people had come late, Ioana, the teacher humbly welcomed them and continued the class. At the end of the class, a lovely lady named Indu gave me a flower and it made me smile. In fact every class, I kept marvelling, that everyone was so welcomed, even if they could only come for part of the class. No special clothes, no hidden fees, no posing, no one touching me, no psychic readings, no starving myself to get nirvana. Just a free course on how to meditate. And the atmosphere was so peaceful, I knew that this was a great beginning for me.
The second class I brought a friend and we shared our new experiences which were positive and peaceful. I started to learn about my chakras, the energy centers which comprise my subtle system that reside along the spine. I had always heard about them and I was so curious and excited to learn about them.
My third class, I discovered that through thoughtless awareness that can be developed through meditation, that I can pinpoint my chakras to each finger in my hand and to my palms. I felt a faint, subtle buzzing on one of my fingers that corresponded to my vishuddi chakra. I learned that I could clear out the negativity myself and that this fifth chakra was responsible for communication, my relationships, diplomacy and took care of my thyroid and other functions. I was amazed as I was hypo-thyroid, and sometimes felt “choked up” when I wanted to express my emotions. This was exactly what I wanted to know. How can I communicate with others effectively, without offending them, being authentic and using kind words that can be felt by the listener? How can I ensure I do not absorb negative energy from others that influence my behaviour, my actions and my moods?
That night I came home and was excited to tell my husband about my experience. As I spoke about what I had felt in my (index, pointer) finger, what I can only describe as energy started shooting up and down my torso and arms and I started to tell him so excitedly. It was like a soothing coolness, on the inside of my body, like tiger balm, and I stood up and the energy went right down my legs and totally energized my being. I was looking at my arms, my legs, and I was amazed that such a feeling could come from inside my body.
Wow, now this was something I had to pursue. And when I started to tell my friends, the energy came up in me again. and It filled me up with a «knowing», and a great sense of joy. I learned that this was my Kundalini energy. We are all born with it and it lays dormant, sleeping in the sacrum bone (meaning sacred in Greek), and once it is woken up, starts to nourish all the energy centers in the body. Since the nature of Kundalini is to be collective and share the knowledge, I could feel the Kundalini rise in me when I shared my experiences with others.